Forgiveness

ADHD & Marriage News - September 22, 2026

Quote of the Week

“If you don’t take responsibility for your mistakes, you never grow up. You never learn…taking responsibility and forgiving yourself and others are two of the critical things about getting old."

- Jane Fonda

Forgiveness

When you think about forgiveness you may think about forgiving other people. But equally – perhaps even more – important is forgiving yourself. To do this, you need to get out of personal denial and acknowledge that there is something that needs forgiving. In ADHD impacted relationships it’s not just ADHD – it’s also responses to ADHD that creates the problems. For example, a non-ADHD partner might be so angry about her husband's symptomatic behaviors that she treats him horribly for years. Yes, this is tough to admit, and yet…there it is.

Many respond to undiagnosed ADHD symptoms in the same way; they try hard to fix things and do the best they can in the situation.

As I like to say, ‘ADHD doesn’t cause divorce, denial does.’ If either of you stay in denial of your own impact on your partner, you are unlikely to find the love you seek.

The only way to heal from this sort of emotional pain is to: 

• Own what you have done - acknowledge your poor behavior with your partner and apologize to him/her
• Forgive yourself

With the right support, you each can learn to forgive yourselves and each other.

If you need to learn more about how to deal with responses to ADHD, one of the best resources available are our  Non-ADHD Partner Support Groups (Registration Open) Join a small Zoom group (10 participants or fewer) led by ADHD-savvy professionals where you'll become part of a community exploring similar issues, learn from each other's successes and struggles, and find new ways to be your best self in your relationship.

Learn More | Join the Notification List

Seminars, Groups:

Taking Action: Relationship Skills for ADHD Partners (Starts Sept. 16)

Join Ari Tuckman, Rachel Ban, and Melissa Orlov for our new live course designed specifically for ADHD partners to build the relationship skills for a healthier, stronger relationship.

Learn More | Register Now

Self-Study Seminar (Available Anytime)
Learn at your own pace with recordings, worksheets, and Q&A sessions from our live seminar.
Learn More | Enroll Now

Intent to Action Membership (Open Enrollment)
Ongoing expert guidance, live support, and a community to help you turn insights into lasting habits.
Learn More | Join Now

Non-ADHD Partner Support Groups (Registration Open)
Join a small Zoom group (10 participants or fewer) led by ADHD-savvy professionals where you'll become part of a community exploring similar issues, learn from each other's successes and struggles, and find new ways to be your best self in your relationship.

Learn More | Join the Notification List

Live ADHD Effect Couples' Seminar (Starts Sept. 15)
Our flagship 9-session live Zoom program to help couples impacted by ADHD understand their relationship dynamics, improve communication, and create lasting change.
Learn More | Register Now

ADHD Partner?
New live course, Taking Action: Relationship Skills for ADHD Partners, (Starts September 16). Join Ari Tuckman, Rachel Ban, and Melissa Orlov as they teach practical skills to build a healthier, stronger relationship. → Register Now

Couples Support Groups (Registration Open)
Join a small Zoom group (5 couples maximum) led by ADHD-savvy professionals where you'll learn alongside other couples navigating similar challenges, strengthen your connection, and build the relationship skills needed to navigate tension and restore connection together.

Learn More | Join the Notification List

ADHD & Marriage Consulting Group (Ongoing)

Work one-on-one with an ADHD expert who understands the unique challenges faced by individuals and couples impacted by ADHD. Many participants find that combining consulting with the Live ADHD Effect Couples' Seminar provides the greatest benefit.

Learn More | Schedule a Consultation

For Mental Health Professionals

Do you work with individuals or couples impacted by ADHD? Expand your expertise with resources created specifically for mental health professionals. Explore our professional training opportunities and affiliate program, or register for the Live ADHD Effect Couples' Seminar and receive $50 off.

Professional Resources | MHP Seminar Registration ($50 Off)

 Free Resources:

• Weekly Marriage Tips email newsletters;
• Free Treatment E-book "How to Optimize Treatment for Adult ADHD";
• A community forum with other couples facing similar issues;
• A large number of blog posts on various topics;
• Referrals for ADHD-Savvy Therapists;
• Chore Score Worksheet;
• Recommended Reading for Couples Impacted by Adult ADHD
• The ADHD Effect on Marriage, Huff Post's top book that therapists suggest all couples should read.

Is there hope?  This video may help you answer that question: 

• Our Team
• New Here? Is ADHDMarriage right for you?
• en Español

Register for free marriage tips here! "Your weekly messages are beyond wonderful to receive, I cannot thank you enough! Please know the gifts that you give are treasured."