Imagination and ADHD

ADHD & Marriage News - August 25, 2026

Quote of the Week

"Logic will take you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere."

- Albert Einstein

Imagination and ADHD

I was recently listening to a podcast done by Dr. Edward Hallowell and his wife, Sue, about what it is like to live with an ADHD partner. They started laughing about how much energy and imagination Ned’s ADHD brings to their relationship (“He has a million ideas every day.”) They also spoke about her being the ‘brakes’ in the relationship, something that Ned admits he both admires and resents in the moment.

Non-ADHD partners often tell me they resent being the ‘bad guy’ in the parenting dynamic. And, frustratingly for them, I sometimes tell them to stop being the bad guy if that’s how they feel. Here’s what I mean:

There are genuinely times when you MUST put on the brakes. Your child is unsafe or unhealthy, or that pool will never, ever actually fit into your back yard…In these times, own those brakes! Feel GOOD that you have the ability to think logically and create some order!
There are many other times when brakes aren’t actually needed, even if you feel nervous or out of control. At those times, embrace the imagination. Get down on the floor and play make-believe with the whole family rather than cook dinner (go out later – chores are simply chores.) Take that overnight camping trip as a date and see what happens, rather than worry about the kids (they’ll be FINE at Grandma’s or a friend’s!) Well, okay, bring bug spray!

There are MANY more examples of when non-ADHD partners don’t really need to apply the brakes – where flexibility is actually the more ‘relationship-friendly’ choice.

If you resent being the ‘bad guy’ or the brakes person, take a look at whether or not it might be more logical to run with either partner’s imagination. You may be surprised where it can get you.

Check out our Non-ADHD Partner Support Groups.

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