The Pain of Being Wronged

ADHD & Marriage News - June 3, 2026

Quote of the Week

“Another helpful adjustment is to drop the idea of finding a soul mate. “We have this mythological idea that we will find a soul mate and have these euphoric feelings forever,” says Chapman. "In fact, soul mates tend to be crafted, not found."

- Gary Chapman, author of The Five Love Languages

Just the Right Person

In my opinion, the idea that someone is ‘perfect’ for us just by being themselves, is a myth... perhaps a myth placed on top of a fantasy. It assumes a ‘happily ever after’ just by being together. That’s just not how healthy, joyous relationships work. Marriage research shows clearly that euphoric feelings lessen for 97% of couples after the dopamine of infatuation wears off (at between 24 – 28 months into the relationship.) And then it becomes about overtly nurturing your connections.

In relationships impacted by ADHD, this nurturing typically has to be even more thought through:

Schedule time to be together, don’t just assume it will happen (too much distraction for that!)
Make sure to keep doing new and challenging things together to connect.
Work hard to optimize ADHD treatment so that inconsistency doesn’t hurt your relationship.
Avoid falling into parent/child dynamics at all costs (this takes work by both parties!)

But with all that – you may be able to end up saying, "we are with just the right person".

Is that a soul mate? Nah, but do you need a label beyond ‘really, really happy?’ Just plan on doing the work to keep it that way.

Seminars, Groups:

Intent to Action (i2a) Membership Program - (Registration Ongoing) - where couples stop feeling alone and start making real progress.

What's inside:
→ Live Expert-led Office Hours
→ Weekly Action Tips to keep you engaged
→ Workshops with tools that work
→ Book Clubs
→ Community Discussion Forum
→ Unlimited Video Replays

i2a delivers the strategies, expert support, and community that transform how ADHD-impacted couples communicate, collaborate, and connect. Learn more and sign up here!

Live ADHD Effect In-Depth Couples' Seminar - (Fall 2026) Is your relationship in trouble? Melissa and senior consultants help partners improve their lives together in this premier 9-session ZOOM seminar that has changed the lives of many, many couples impacted by ADHD. Mental Health Professionals, take $50 off and check out our Affiliates Program.

The Self-Study Seminar - (Ongoing) Move at your own pace. Includes materials & recordings from recent live seminar lessons and Q&As. 3 months of Office Hours to support your learning! Military and Mental Health Professional discounts.

Non ADHD Partner Support Group - (Fall 2026) - Join a community exploring similar issues; learn from each other's successes and struggles; find new, more effective ways to be your best self in your relationship.

ADHD Partner Support Group - (Fall 2026) Participants have space to speak honestly about what’s hard. Feel understood, connect with others who truly “get it” and gain valuable insight and advice.

Couples Support Group - (Fall 2026) - Seven sessions. 5 couples only will work with Internal Family Systems (IFS) master facilitator, Jason Weber, to understand what ‘parts’ of themselves are participating in the parent-child dynamics and learn how to compassionately move away from it.

Foundations in Habit Development - (Fall 2026) This special series is for ADHD partners who have completed The ADHD Effect Couples' Seminar. This two month program helps you solidify the changes you have started to make.

ADHD & Marriage Consulting Group - (Ongoing) - Work with an ADHD expert who understand the issues faced by individuals and couples impacted by ADHD. We STRONGLY recommend you also take the ADHD Effect In-Depth Couples' Seminar

Therapist Training & more - (Ongoing) - For counselors, therapists, social workers, coaches, and other professionals who currently work with adults and couples impacted by ADHD, or who would like training to help improve their skills in this important therapeutic area.

Free Resources:

Is there hope? This video may help you answer that question:

Register for free marriage tips here! "Your weekly messages are beyond wonderful to receive, I cannot thank you enough! Please know the gifts that you give are treasured."