“In considering what Tess was not, he overlooked what she was…” - Thomas Hardy
Overlooking the Good
I admit it. ‘Tess’ was definitely NOT one of my favorite books! But this quote was way too relevant to forgo! Because I see – repeatedly – that struggling couples hone in on the problems they are having and what they don’t have, that they forget to also seek out ways to remember and celebrate what they do have. Your partner might be driving you crazy with controlling behaviors, for example, while also being a fabulous parent or breadwinner, or both. Your partner might struggle to get things done in a timely way, but is hilarious and always ready to go.
If we focus only on what our partner is not, we are the losers. For we start our intended healing from a negative place.
What are the positives you could celebrate in your partner that might help you address the issues you both face with a more positive mindset?
TODAY: February 25, 1 pm EST, Free expert webinar with Edward Hallowell, M.D. - A Step-by-Step Guide to Adult ADHD Diagnosis and Treatment. Register at ADDitude Magazine.
For those in marriages impacted by ADHD
You can find great resources for couples impacted by ADHD at adhdmarriage.com, including: a free online treatment overview; free downloadable chapters of my books; a community forum with other couples facing similar issues; a large number of blog posts on various topics; referrals; and my very popular couples course: ADHD Effect In-Depth Couples' Seminar - Next live session begins April 4th - this eight-session seminar has helped many couples turn around their relationship.