Talk and Good Intentions Don’t Cut It

ADHD & Marriage News - July 28, 2026

Quote of the Week

"You can’t talk your way out of problems you behaved yourself into."

- Stephen Covey

Talk and Good Intentions Don't Cut It.

What Covey is saying here is that if you behaved yourself into a corner, you have to improve your own behavior to get yourself back out of it. Otherwise, your credibility and trustworthiness are shot.

Or…actions speak louder than words.

If you have ADHD, getting your actions to be the right actions at the right time can be a difficult problem! Even so, it’s important to get your behaviors in order because this is the bottom line for your relationship. Talk and good intentions don’t cut it. Either you act like - and are - a good, loving partner who cherishes and supports your relationship…or you’re not. ADHD partners can certainly do this, but they have to get the ADHD issues under control first.

Cognitive behavioral therapy can help. Coaching can help (see my recommended coaches page.) Making sure you optimize your treatment is critical (download my free e-book from the home page.) Taking time to ‘attend’ to your partner and training yourself not to cover up failures are also important tools when becoming a better partner.

And this isn’t just about ADHD partners. Non-ADHD partners can behave themselves into problems. We can talk about doing better and commiserate about how hard it is, but not until specific plans are created and implemented for doing better – can we behave our way out of our problems.

We spend a lot of time in our couples seminar on teaching how to do this. If you are interested in turning ideas into action, you might wish to join us the upcoming session that starts September 15, 2026.

ADHD Partner?
Our new live course, Taking Action: Relationship Skills for ADHD Partners, starts September 16. Join Ari Tuckman, Rachel Ban, and Melissa Orlov as they teach practical skills to build a healthier, stronger relationship. → Learn More

Non-ADHD Partner or Couple?
Registration for our Fall Support Groups opens this Wednesday at 12:00 p.m. ET. → Non-ADHD Partner Groups | → Couples Groups

Seminars, Groups:

Live ADHD Effect Couples' Seminar (Starts Sept. 15)
Our flagship 9-session live Zoom program to help couples impacted by ADHD understand their relationship dynamics, improve communication, and create lasting change.
Learn More | Register Now

Taking Action: Relationship Skills for ADHD Partners (Starts Sept. 16)

Join Ari Tuckman, Rachel Ban, and Melissa Orlov for our new live course designed specifically for ADHD partners to build the relationship skills for a healthier, stronger relationship.

Learn More | Register Now

Self-Study Seminar (Available Anytime)
Learn at your own pace with recordings, worksheets, and Q&A sessions from our live seminar.
Learn More | Enroll Now

Intent to Action Membership (Open Enrollment)
Ongoing expert guidance, live support, and a community to help you turn insights into lasting habits.
Learn More | Join Now

Non-ADHD Partner Support Groups (Registration Opens July 22 1pm ET)
Join a small Zoom group (10 participants or fewer) led by ADHD-savvy professionals where you'll become part of a community exploring similar issues, learn from each other's successes and struggles, and find new ways to be your best self in your relationship.

Learn More | Join the Notification List

Couples Support Groups (Registration Opens July 22 1pm ET)
Join a small Zoom group (5 couples maximum) led by ADHD-savvy professionals where you'll learn alongside other couples navigating similar challenges, strengthen your connection, and build the relationship skills needed to navigate tension and restore connection together.

Learn More | Join the Notification List

ADHD & Marriage Consulting Group (Ongoing)

Work one-on-one with an ADHD expert who understands the unique challenges faced by individuals and couples impacted by ADHD. Many participants find that combining consulting with the Live ADHD Effect Couples' Seminar provides the greatest benefit.

Learn More | Schedule a Consultation

For Mental Health Professionals

Do you work with individuals or couples impacted by ADHD? Expand your expertise with resources created specifically for mental health professionals. Explore our professional training opportunities and affiliate program, or register for the Live ADHD Effect Couples' Seminar and receive $50 off.

Professional Resources | MHP Seminar Registration ($50 Off)

Free Resources:

Is there hope? This video may help you answer that question:

Register for free marriage tips here! "Your weekly messages are beyond wonderful to receive, I cannot thank you enough! Please know the gifts that you give are treasured."