Your Internal Emotional World

ADHD & Marriage News - June 20, 2025

Quote of the Week

“Once we are okay with who we are inside then we can put a system in place. We have to address shame."

- 2024 CHADD keynote speaker, Dr. Kojo Sarfo

Kojo Sarfo is an internet influencer (among other things) and man with experience managing ADHD. He urges those with ADHD to address their internal emotional world so that they can deal more effectively with their daily lives.

As I’ve observed over the years, there are a number of effective ways to address one’s inner emotions. For example, anger over rejections (RSD in its more extreme form) can be address with medication and, to a lesser degree, with behavioral therapy. As I’ve observed with clients, Internal Family Systems (IFS) and Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) are two particularly effective ways to address trauma and shame. Research also suggests that Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and coaching can help with taming self-criticism around task completion and fear of failure.

But this work isn’t for an end of emotional control. As Dr. Sarfo noted later in his talk, “If you have ADHD it is going to be hard to be successful without a system.” Once you tame the emotions that interfere with how you get on in your life, you then have more freedom to create a system that unabashedly works for you – whatever that looks like.

Would any of these approaches help you move forward in your life?

Seminars, Groups:

NEW: Intent to Action (i2a) Membership Program (Registration Open) - Summer doesn't mean slowing down in i2a -- we know your relationship dynamics are a part of your everyday life, so we continue to offer expert support and peers for community to keep you gently accountable to each other. Join us anytime to be a part of our growing and supportive community.

ADHD Effect In-Depth Couples' Seminar - (The next live seminar will begin Fall 2025). Is your relationship in trouble? Melissa and senior consultants help partners improve their lives together in this premier 9-session ZOOM seminar that has changed the lives of many, many couples impacted by ADHD.

The Self-Study Seminar - (Ongoing) Move at your own pace. Includes materials and recordings from the recent '24 live seminar.

Non ADHD Partner Support Group - (Full) Be part of a community of people exploring similar issues; learn from each other's successes and struggles; find new, more effective ways to be your best self in your relationship. Group leaders include Tami Anderson, Amy Borla, Lee Crespi, Lisa Magel and Ashley Paradise. NEW: LGBTQIA+ and Consensual Non-Monogamy group!

Foundations in Habit Development - (Full) - This special series is for ADHD partners who have completed The ADHD Effect Couples' Seminar. This two month program helps you solidify the changes you have started to make.

ADHD & Marriage Consulting Group - (Registration Open. Ongoing). Are you interested in doing individual or couples work with someone who is an ADHD expert? This is a group of professionals who understand the issues faced by individuals and couples impacted by ADHD. We STRONGLY recommend you also take the ADHD Effect In-Depth Couples' Seminar

Couples Support Group - (Full) Navigating Parent-Child Dynamics. Seven sessions. Participants obtain a deeper understanding of what drives their Parent-Child Dynamic, In this group 5 couples will work with Internal Family Systems (IFS) master facilitator, Jason Weber, to understand what ‘parts’ of themselves are participating in the parent-child dynamics and learn how to compassionately move away from it.

Therapist Training & more - For counselors, therapists, social workers, coaches, and other professionals who currently work with adults and couples impacted by ADHD, or who would like training to help improve their skills in this important therapeutic area.

Free Resources:

Weekly Marriage Tips email newsletters;
Free Treatment E-book "How to Optimize Treatment for Adult ADHD";
A community forum with other couples facing similar issues;
A large number of blog posts on various topics;
Referrals for ADHD-Savvy Therapists;
Chore Score Worksheet;
Recommended Reading for Couples Impacted by Adult ADHD
The ADHD Effect on Marriage was listed in Huff Post as a top book that therapists suggest all couples should read.

Is there hope? This video may help you answer that question.

Register for free marriage tips here! "Your weekly messages are beyond wonderful to receive, I cannot thank you enough! Please know the gifts that you give are treasured."