Melissa's "Psychology Today" blog

The Danger Lurking in "I Need You To..."

"I need you to..." is sometimes a politically correct way to boss a partner around. As such, it hurts your relationship. The key is to be careful.

The 'A' Word

There’s a reason many adults hate the label ‘ADHD’. It’s cruelly synonymous with ‘incompetent,’ ‘lazy’ and ‘fail!’ to too many people who use it. This stereotyping hurts us all.

Can Adults With ADHD Really Change?

"I am who I am" and "I can't change" are more about fear than reality, and don't reflect the science around ADHD.

Can We Please Have Sex? 5 Steps to Restart Intimacy

When one partner stops your sex life it's a cry for help that adds significant tension to a marriage. Resolving the issues so you can make love again takes a sensitive approach.

Optimism and the ADHD Partner

Some partners think those with ADHD aren't taking their personal or joint marital woes seriously enough. But there may be other things going on.

If Only I Had Known About ADHD Before!

Moving beyond regret means moving yourself into a different future. Happily, for adults with ADHD and their partners, there is now good information that can help them do so.

Are 'ADHD' and 'Mistakes' Synonymous?

The symptoms of ADHD lead to many mistakes for those who have it. But the problem isn't the mistakes, it's how one views them.

Adult ADHD Impacts Kids, Too

Teens are old enough to have open conversations about what ADHD is (and is not) and how the symptoms show up in other family members.

Taking the Risk to Love Over the Long-Term

What do you do with the information that your partner is capable of betrayal? Or that he or she has trouble holding a job? Love over the long haul takes open eyes and a certain amount of fearlessness.

What Role, Obligation?

An obligation to stay together can lead couples to accept - and reinforce - a negative or dysfunctional relationship. Instead of "waiting it out," seek help.

Overcoming Relationship Inertia

Here's a conundrum with getting an ADHD evaluation: Often the partner who suspects he or she has ADHD has the classic symptoms -- including procrastination. This inhibits his ability to follow through and set the appointment needed to get treatment for...procrastination! Meanwhile, the other partner waits and waits while the relationship continues to struggle...

He Never Plans a Date!

Should women take over all responsibility for planning dates when a partner's ADHD gets in the way?

The Tension Hidden in ADHD-Impacted Relationships

The symptoms of ADHD result in behaviors that may strike at the heart of healthy relationships. Couples who understand the tension between symptoms and expectations will be more equipped to unravel the problems between them.

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