Had a short text conversation with my ex about one of the teenagers today. We hadn’t texted for perhaps a couple of months. I always keep it to an absolute minimum.
Today he was actually kind in his text. Stating he cared about our daughters and my relationship.
And the tone of his texting rang from the security of another time, when there was love and trust and deep connection.
It struck me then, he probably still exists in that pocket of safety. He hasn’t understood what his ADHD has done to me, to my sense of safety, to my sense of innate worth. After all, he’s never experienced the love of his life morph into something horrific and nauseating. He hasn’t had his life partner explain the last 20 years of his life were built on insincerity, because they masked their true emotions and opinions.
I cannot fully grasp the disparity between our minds and our different views of what happened in this marriage.
Comments
What you state does resonate
What you stated about husband not understanding what his ADHD has done to you and your relationship really resonated with me - I feel the same way in my marriage. It is almost as if we are living two distinct lives with no interconnection. I presume it is just the way his brain works and sees the world, but it is very distressing to think of being with someone for so long only to determine they really did not get you at all!
Thinking of you.