Yup here we go again! H didn't go into work last Friday because he had a 10AM doctor's appt and a 20 minute appt means he can't go into work AT ALL! The only reason he scheduled an appt was so he could get a note from the doctor extending his light duty at work due to his knee hurting. He's got this whole plan that gets him on light duty away from the manager he hates and then while he's on light duty he's going to take these online classes which will allow him to move into another position away from his hated manager. Well the online classes happened for 2 days and he hasn't done anything with that in a week so I'm sure he won't finish that and he'll have to get light duty extending yet again so he can do them. Anyways, I get home on Friday (which I took as a 1/2 day so I could come home and mow the yard but that didn't happen since he was home all day!) and he tells me he forgot to get the doctor's note, which is the whole reason he went and rather than make another trip that day he'd just go in on Monday and get it. Well of course I knew that meant he wouldn't be going into work Monday because he can't go into work if he needs to get a doctor's note because THAT takes all day!
Fire pit gets started on Sunday and of course he worked on it on Monday rather than go to work. Sets his alarm both Monday night and last night and of course gets up before work and calls in saying he will be out and spent the last 2 days working on the fire pit. Hey great that he's finally working on it, but it was not supposed to take the place of work! This was something that was supposed to be worked on AFTER work! I've looked at his texts to his manager too and it's just one lie after another as to how he'll be in and then he can't come in because he has to go to physical therapy or the car broke down or he has to take me into work! HOW can he go back to work and look people in the eye after excuse after excuse as to why he can't be there?! And I JUST checked Facebook and back on July 9 he posted to one guy saying "Let me know the next time you go to Monroe for dirt bike racing and let me use one of your bikes" and this morning the guy wrote "Going out there today. Going to be some serious turnout and guys worth watching. You gonna come?" He replies ""Aw man, blew out my back last weekend and can't ride". Really? News to me! Blew out your back but you are shoveling sand and gravel and then hauling it back and dumping it and raking it and making a fire pit area?? Do you not think this guy has seen the pictures you've been posting showing how it's coming along? Why can't he just say "No I can't come" or "No I don't want to come"? Why does EVERY DAMN THING have to be a lie to make himself look good? If he's lying to everyone else you can be damn sure he's lying about a lot of things to me as well!
I don't even question him any more. I used to get so upset that he wouldn't go in for days and now I say nothing and just seethe inside. It doesn't matter what I say to him or throw an all out tantrum about him never going to work. He'll just think it's funny I'm getting so worked up about it.I don't get sarcastic about it any more and just assume that the norm has become he'll be home probably 3 days a week and MAYBE work 2 days if it strikes his fancy, but even on the days he does go in he'll sometimes come home a few hours early (due to another fake excuse to his manager). When he tells me how to do something "right" I don't get upset anymore and just push my anger deep down and smile and go "Thank you dear, you are so right. I don't know why I ever cut those carrots the other way before, or folded clothes that way, or shoveled snow that way, or stirred the soup that way, or vacuumed that way, etc". I'm just so tired of fighting and knowing he won't change and he'll most likely turn it around on me about how I should be sympathetic to him and how he's just trying to "help me do the job better". Funny how before I met him I had loads of self esteem and never worried about doing anything. Now I feel I am totally incapable of cutting carrots or making a tuna melt if he's in the room! And if I dare mention anything to him about staying home to finish the fire pit rather than going to work oh you can be sure I'll get an earful of how he needs to have all day to work on it and how we are renting this tool and we'd need it a lot longer if he didn't work on it all day so he is saving us money by doing that and how I should be thankful it's finally getting done rather than complaining about him not working. Yup..that is the reason I never argue about anything with him anymore because I can already see how it will be turned on me before I even begin!