ADD leads to Divorce

I have posted previously.  My marriage appears to be past the point of return; my wife has just canceled our last marriage counseling session.  I am very sad but resigned.  I am going to attempt follow Melissa's path, as she presented in her book, by working on my best self rather than pining over my failing relationship.  My wife and I have many issues to work out: financial and legal (bankruptcy and house) and children (2 boys, 7 and 5).  We have discussed separation and dissolution.  Any advice for what to do next or how to start?  

Rob H