ADHD and divorce

I haven't read a lot from people about what it is like to go through a divorce with a partner with ADHD. My husband left me five weeks ago for a new girl that has captured his heart. He told me he wanted a divorce because we are incompatible, but I find out that he is having an affair (not a long one). It is now becoming clear that this woman has bought INTO him and they are in "love" although I know this by omission rather than by his admission. He won't talk about their relationship but he has cut off his entire family. Anyway. I have made it clear that I do not want this woman meeting my children unless it really is a relationship that is going to last. My separated husband has agreed to this stipulation and to not having the woman at my house when he looks after our kids during the week. He said he understood. However, I discovered (I have become adept at investigating him in the last five weeks since it came out that he is having an affair and lying about a lot of things) that he had her over to my house to meet the kids while I was gone this past Sunday night. I am livid. I am also scared. Do I really have to continue to deal with the symptoms of ADHD for the rest of my life? This has got to be a joke. At least if he is going to leave me after years of trying to hold us all together, could I be released from his deception? His straight-faced lying to me? What kind of woman would go to the home of a woman whose husband she effectively "stole?"


I'd also love to hear how you dealt with your ADHD spouse moving onto another woman/man so quickly and fully.