okay I have been doing a lot of researches and then I came up with my own strategy in dealing with the man I love soo very much "BUT" to not let his ADHD affect "me" mentally,physically,emotionally and so on, also,I really would like to use the terms "US" but really if you dig deeper in to the minds of an ADHD person "US" is never really there,just "you",firstly let me say this post is to help "both" ADHD and non- ADHD on this forum.
1)continue to live one day "as they say",at a time (sweet Jesus),and never let your guard down.
2)be happy for the gift of life,and continue to pray and do good for people.
3)treat ADHD normal, but with a full mind to support ADHD spouse, and be very helpful if granted by ADHD spouse.
4)love ADHD like a flower, but once it's faded, "love that even more",with much work and effort, building a concrete structure.
5)forgive ADHD, and learn to rejoice in sorrowful times,finding comfort in one's self.
6)don't ignore ADHD, but rather ignore the plague of it,by finding back one's happiness.
7)when ADHD is around,build a fence around it,don't let it cage you in.
8)be happy for ADHD for the positive side of it.
9)be mindful all the time that ADHD is "two"sides and not always bad.
10)set up a focus structure"for when ADHD is on the bad side".
11)love your ADHD spouse,like he/she is no different,but with it in mind "only" to cope around rough edges.
12)learn to accept what ever "IS" expected or,"NOT"expected with ADHD.
13)forgive,love,cherish,rejoice and learn to love,no matter the pain.BE merciful.
I have been doing all this for the past week and I find my self very happy with my self,and there is nothing more important than one's happiness.Of course when our ADHD/non ADHD spouses see this type of behavior in action,results won't come right away, but eventually they would follow through,we as individuals "FIRST" have to set the "good" example and "only" good things could happen after that, and that's what we are "all" after, and no matter if the ADHD/non-ADHD marriage did not work out,we as individuals will be happy even though,and don't matter the consequences,we would be happy with one's self,,, finding back the peace of mind, before it could even get taken away.
god bless everyone of you in this forum,and I would like to give "SPECIAL"thanks to Mr's Melissa Orlov,if it wasn't for her book, my light would not have shine,thank you.