Adhd long term stress with marraige , work and life in general.

I'm a 25 year old with adhd, diagnosed in high school my parents thought I had a learning disability got tested, IQ of 125. My Adhd has changed over the years. I started off very unmotivated father constantly asking me if I was on drugs. Well I finally got on drugs (adderall xr) and with this prescription my academic life improved. emotionally was ok, but Had some ED issues for an 18 year old guy that's terrible, so adderall went bye, bye. I got back on meds for School. I work as a Paramedic, a constant sense of addrenline perfect gig for an adder, action, flashing lights.  I've always had some sort of anxiety, when I was younger it was afraid of getting hurt, when video games just didn't do it for me, I got into extreme sports, surfing snowboarding, skateboarding ( took a hill at 37mph) that feeling of just being a hair away from being out of control makes me feel alittle more alive. now my anxietys are bills, my marriage and my child, about 19-24 years old I partied pretty heavlly never any hard drugs just alcohol, and I struggle keeping it under control. My adhd makes life full of anxiety, mostly with my marriage. I drink to dull the anxiety and it makes me feel good, not so many things going on in the brain.  My wife is at her wits end with my constantly losing things like keys and cell phone charger, my spending habits, my drinking which she considers a problem, my anxiety, impulse control and chronic tardiness.  now I do have a tendency to fly off the handle about things. Like she will give me a list written down (helpful behavior for adhd husband) but then text me and be like ( you make the phone calls)  next text (SO ???) and it's just infuriating. I'm sure my procrastination is infuriating to her.  Alot of the other difference, I'm laid back and don't have an opion about everything, for my mind it's just not easy to take on everything, and she will say "come on that's common sense what's wrong with you"  and it makes me feel awful, but for me it's not commonsense, She doesn't realize that I on a daily basis to sucessfully get out the door and not forget a lunch, phone, wallet (uniform shirt sometimes) takes much more effort for me and sometimes, multiple trips back into the house. Even now writing this I'm wondering where I'm going with this, it's more of vent, I'm pretty sure I had a point, Oh ya.... So I'm going to the Doc to get back on Meds to try and save my marriage. I've been through this before,  I know meds are not a cure all, I honestly hope she knows, that I will always operate this way, to some extent. I'm not making excuses, but I am who I am and I'm always trying to keep on top of things, but when making sure you . I feel like she was lured in by the hyper focus me, and after we got married she's meeting regular old me,  I'm afraid she won't be able to deal with it and it sucks......even now I have like 7 tabs open on windows, I'm at workin taking an online class and have music on, that's all my bad stuff.   But I feel like she just sees that and not my good side anymore.