Most evening endings are fine. In the more distant past, there have been some that have troubled us both. We had one last night, not a tiff, he was of good cheer and wanted to wake me up to share something with me.
I can be emotionally loaded at bedtime, of course, and bring my load into whatever he and I talk about, that needs to be seen for what it is when it happens, but a consistent piece of these end of the evening events, which thankfully are rarer than they were, seems to me to be something on his side of things, and I wonder whether part of what's going on in him is biological (meaning, not intentional on his part, but impelled by something in his wiring, blood sugar level, whatever), to be wound up and not be able to come down.
There's always my end of things for me to manage as well as I can; if a serious topic comes up, I'm liable to get right into the topic myself....but the way these things often happen,it feels like we're stuck in a thing that for him needs to be cycled through before he winds down.
I am quite curious to know whether other partners and people with ADHD go through these very last minute or hour of the day windups, whether they are due boisterousness, arguments, launching into heavy duty worry talk, or whatever.
I don't know how to get through them, once they start, other than to not participate, if I can pull that off, and suggest that we have the conversation the next day.