Attention Deficit

I am reading "To Love and be Loved" by Sam Keen.  He says: "Once our attention is captured, a love story develops only if we escalate the contact by a decision to pay attention... The decision to pay attention to someone is the first act of self-limitation, the first sacrifice, the first gift we make in the name of love."

Dh does not look at me or respond with anything other than a "yup" or a "nope" to my queries.  He does not acknowledge me when I walk into the room.  He does not say goodbye or hello.  Neither do I anymore.  It hurts too much to be the only one trying to communicate and be a family.  I am lonely.  He does not support us.  He has chosen a life of marital "ignorance" (ignoring) rather than work or grow for love or family. 

"The price of lasting love is continuing to pay attention to a person, a place, or a work that has become familiar. Paying attention is the bedrock opposite of taking for granted, which is a major cause of death of long relationships."


To those of you young and in-love people.  Know that we were young and in love once...but the "in love" needs to be maintained with effort and willingness on BOTH sides.  You can't MAKE someone love you no matter how cute and wonderful you has to come from something...a wiliingness to put in effort...within BOTH of you to make a long lasting love story. One person can't make a relationship....

If he is not TRYING now.  It will not magically get better no matter how much YOU try.