Well, it's been awhile since my last post so here goes.....baby steps, but going in the right direction. Two weeks ago we sat down and had a real "heart to heart" if you will. After that I made the decision to pull back and let go...and let the chips fall where they may. Well its working or at least I think it is....a week ago we had a minor meltdown on his part due to him not paying attention to my whole statement and only hearing part of it, making an assumption and getting pissed. When I looked at him and asked him to look at me and listen to the whole statement, he got it. He then actually apologized and told me he would work on it (listening to the whole statement and not just part of it), without a discussion, argument or fuss. He then has decided that each Saturday we are going to sit down and each come up with one positive thing about our relationship...I'm thinking that maybe hes seeing the therapist again without admitting to it. Lastly he told me last night that this has been the "best two weeks in years for us" and he's "never loved me more than he does right now". Now we all know he is the KING of 180's so it may not last past today, but for now the positives outweigh the negatives.... we are talking again and we are having fun again so I will take it!
And I'm not saying we aren't still having issues....
- he is still in contact with his ex-girlfriend (calls her or FB's her everyday I'm not home and thinks I don't know) which still pisses me off to no end. Yes 10 years ago he may have treated her like crap....yes, it may have ended badly, but NO he is not responsible for her "happiness" or the fact she has a crappy life. Sorry I have NO patience for people like that, I was 17 when I got pregnant the first time and 22 the second...I still went to college and took care of myself and my kids, that includes starting completely over twice! Get off your ass and take care of yourself and your kids (none of her kids are his), the fact that even social services wont help her should be a clue, but he cant see that and thinks he needs to save her.
- he still refuses to take meds although he did tell me last night he was willing to try a Holistic-Herbal approach (I'm a Holistic Health Practitioner so that wont cost us any money except for the supplements)
- He still refuses to see a counselor together.
- he is still convinced that 80% of our problems are my fault.
On the plus, plus side stepping back and letting go has allowed me to do things I want but wouldn't have done before. I am going to be in a photo shoot for a coffee table book of pics of women from my state. I cant wait!!! Its going to be sooo much fun!! Oh and last night when we went to a promotion for dh's job, one of the people I met thought I was 14 years younger than I am and would believe my age...it was sooooo awesome!!
Have a great day...HUGS to all!