Back from deployment & learned so much

Hello Melissa and all the ADDers out there I have been back from Iraq for about six months now and my marriage has well not been so good.  When I came back I hyper focused on fixing are marriage.  We tried going to marriage counseling a few times and Here is the part where you husbands out there with ADHD need to listen too.  Marriage counseling and meds are not a fix for your marriage so don't make the mistake I did and pretend that everything is ok and go on pretending that your marriage is fine.  The one thing I have learned is first thing is first you need to seek your own counseling and your spouse needs to seek there own then come together with someone who knows about ADHD.  Now here is where I messed up I pushed on affection love and intimacy trying to make her fall in love with me.  Of course all it did was push her away further and further now it is at the point where we cannot live together and still fix things so she is heading back home four states away with the kids and ya I know it sounds messed up but I honestly feel it is the best for the long term and its only for three months.  Where a lot of marriages go wrong is one I learned that I am very co-dependent and no women wants to be with a weak and needie man.  Women want a strong independent man who can take care of them and them self.  So we both are taking this time to grow for our self, find our self and hopefully miss each other and want to be with each other and if not then we will be the best parents for our kids.  I love my wife and she loves me and we want to be together but I believe  that all these people on here complain and wine about what the other person is not doing, take a long hard look at your self and take responsibility for your choices that you made in life.  know one can make you feel sad, depressed, or worthless.  If you don't like the situation that your in fix it, be a strong independent person.  Now I am not saying divorce or separation I do not believe in that, all I am saying is if your sad, mad or have fallen out of love with your spouse seek help to find out why and what you can do about it.  Your spouse will see your changes and trust me every man loves a strong independent women who takes control of her life and they will follow suit.  Don't under no circumstances just fake it or pretend so you don't hurt the other person it only makes it worse.  This is just what I have learned the past six months and I will continue to learn and get better at being ADHD and just remember having ADHD is not a curse its a gift that god gave you now you have to learn to use it in a positive way.  

                                              "Knowledge is Power if you don't know you never will, Take control of your life"