Can't rely on spouse

The previous thread has become difficult to follow and comment My H never been reliable, but he gets even worse when he knows it will hurt me. For instance, if he's supposed to help us get ready for something that he's agreed to doing, then he will use that to get what he wants. "I've decided that I won't help with that (or go to that) unless you apologize for (something that I didn't do!)" It's gotten to the point that I refuse to give him these opportunities. I won't set up trips anymore (because he refused to go to one one time when he got mad at something and I refused to apologize for something that I didn't do). I visit my family alone, because I won't let him have the opportunity to black-mail with something in regards to that either.