"A connected child feels involved in a world larger than himself. He feels — and feels is the crucial verb — held in place by loving arms. This feeling of connection goes deeper than beliefs or knowledge. Connection is an inoculation against despair, a vitamin that propels positive growth. I call it the other vitamin C, “vitamin connect.” Of course, the key to the development of any child is love, which begets the feeling of connectedness." This is from Additude magazine site.
In my life, I believe I have identified a big issue in my marriage as a "connection" issue. I have tried every response in Melissa's book. For 40 years I have tried to connect in a meaningful way. My marriage has not been one of supporting each other holding hands through life. My marriage has been me sacrificing, compromising, trying to "get along", working to provide the best opportunities for everyone in the family.....him ignoring, a jokey-social facade, manipulating and doing his own thing, satisfied with himself for protecting his own ego.
My advice to young people who find themselves in a relationship like mine? Don't live on fairy tales and hope. If you are working too hard and feeling disconnected, don't stay working hard and one day realize you have been alone in your marriage all along.
People NEED connection. PHYSICALLY it is necessary for your health.