Consistent inconsistency

We had agreed that it would be too much for our ADHD daughter to handle sports and acting.  We told her to choose.  She chose sports.

Then my wife decided she should be able to audition for the town play because she wanted to be with her friends--after we bought the sports equipment and practice started.  

Then we decided she could not do the play because 1) her behavior in general was really bad, with lots of tantrums and 2) she was not cooperating with the sports--missing practice, arriving late, etc.  Add to this that she had a lot of behavior problems when she did the play in the fall.  My wife even told her that she could not do the play for discussing it with me and said to her that it was because of her tantrums.

Well, they held more auditions and my wife pestered me about letting her audition.  My wife always complains that I make her be the bad guy, but now it was up to me, on my own, to be the one who said "No, you can't do the play."  Mommy said it was OK, but mean old Daddy said no.  She is going to be in the ensemble again.

A couple weeks ago, we went to a ski resort that also has a waterpark and tubing--not for skiing.  Our teenage son wanted to try skiing.  I told my wife that 1) it was too expensive right now to pay for lessons and equipment and 2) his behavior did not justify that big of a reward.  She said she understood and agreed.  End of story, right?  No, she kept asking me and asking me.  Even during dinner, when the kids were at the table with us, she shielded her mouth and asked me again in a low voice.  I left for home and they stayed the night for the next day.  Fortunately, she did not pay for the skiing that time.