I am analyzing and contemplating what to do,I am feeling like calling it quit's.I am realizing that he is not "just"ADHD,but also a train of disorder's!! I read and read online and books also, I have been doing researches and so far I have come up with this:
ADHD,ODD,OCD and many more,a train of disorders,my husband has a lot of "bad"qualities in him where he steals a lot,shop lifted and many more,lies,curses non-stop,addicted to substance abuse(crack) at once and now (marijuana),abandoned his kids,the last child was only 2 and a half years(a baby),anti-social,high anger tantrums,mood swings,compulsive spending,impulsivity,restlessness,chronic procrastination,chronic boredom,addictive to high sexual behaviors,Ex:porn,watching other women,I found out from him how many women he had S with,,, and you would not like to know the number's he came up with OMG!!! and he thinks that's normal OMG!!!,drinks hard/heavy ,but not everyday though only to self-medicate his problems,picks fights,complains,blurts out weird untimely things like"anywhere anytime"in the presence of people loud,no control over behavior,acts like a clown in public,the grocery,"anywhere",selfish,pick fights constantly"with me" especially if someone ruined his day in work or he could not get his way,talks excessively,he burns out my ear bell!!! chronic forgetfulness,sleeping problems "every night",always late for "work" or to early home,drives crazy when distracted,chronic distractibility OMG!!! I could go on and on but I will stop now!!!!
All the above mentioned has been going on for the past one year and four months of our entire marriage,and I have heard from his Mother he has always been so and worse as a kid,or never really changed,now he is 47,well he was married before to a woman who was very to her self and just use to do as he says,they were married for 10 or 12 years, I can't say for sure,but he had lots of other serious relationships before his first marriage, maybe around 5 or 6, then after his divorce or while he was going through divorce he met his second child's mother,and they were on and off for 5 to 6 years, but during that period I analyzed that he had lots of affairs,probably around 20 or more,him and his second child's mother was co-de pendant,NOT LOVE he told me, so he used her to look after the house while he run around stimulating/self-medicating himself from the first divorce(cheating),bringing the "baggage"into the last relationship with his child's mother,she had lots of problems also"child abuse and child molestation" so she would self-medicate hard on pills and liquor, he said that to me.Now seeing things from this point and analyzing ALL THE UNDERLYING PROBLEMS,it would take a reborn for him to make a come back,there is "no hope" for us,he has to many PROBLEMS,I don't think meds would help if he don't make up his mind to leave the past in the past and he has not done that at all.
I will have no choice but to end it!!! this would take more than therapy,meds to help him,it will take forever to help him make a come back to normality,he has a bad reputation at our "state"people have been talking about him a lot and questioning my dad about my acquaintance with him.I have love for him,but this would never end, and I deserve to be loved back!!! in the way I give it!!! I have not really saw where he love's me the way I do!! maybe he does but he has sooo much "underlying problems" I don't think a serious relationship is what he needs!! maybe a girlfriend but not a wife,I tried to be that also but that too has not worked. This might be our last!! I am not sure b/c he would come sobbing and I would feel sorry and go back.anyone with advice please share it with love hurts I am confused!! thank you!