Divorce is Around the Corner

I re-read my post today after I had a fight with my ADHD wife of 31 years. We have 2 children, 20 months and almost 4 years. My wife just barely started her ADHD meds, Strattera, less than a week ago after trying to get her there for over a year+. She has been trying really hard to make things work, but I'm just at the end of my rope. There is more to the story than I shared last time, mostly centered around intimacy. She and I are from conservative backgrounds--we were each others first partners (only sorta I learned recently from her), etc. She has had a low libido for years, even though she claims it used to be very high earlier on. Well, I was rejected and neglected so much that in the first year of our marriage I turned to porn to fill that void. She was terribly hurt by my actions, and she claims that to this day I've never done enough to resolve the issue. I was repentant, stopped using porn, and things got better, until they got worse. It has been a back and forth cycle until about a year ago when I just threw my hands up in the air and gave up trying to overcome the porn issue. She has gained 100lbs during the course of our marriage, over half of it in the last year, and between her lack of interest in me, the regular rejections, and her weight, I'm just not attracted to her anymore. Even when she offers sex, I'm not interested and can't actually "perform" because I'm not into her that way any longer. Today we discussed the possibility of divorce, and I just feel like it is inevitable. When I asked what she wants, she said "if you've given up, then it doesn't matter what I want". She then asked me if I'd be willing to do the Love Dare challenge with her. I agreed, but I have very little hope it'll do anything but provide a temporary lift before the almost 10 years of resentment and pain creep back in. The only thing stopping me from divorce are our children. I love them so much, my heart is absolutely wrenched at the thought of losing them. It makes me physically ill. The sad thing is I don't feel the same way about her. Suffice it to say I'm a real emotional mess. I'm extraordinarily depressed (which has always been true, at least a bit), and I'm at my wit's end. My wife expects me to manage my depression for the sake of our marriage, AND to adjust my communication and efforts to make it easier on her ADHD. It is a double standard and I am done trying to deal with it. I'll try this Love Dare thing, but I'm just too tired. I hope I can do right by my kids.