Good day Doctors.

I'm the non ADDer in this relationship.  I've searched this website and forum and other places to learn "coping mechanisms", but to no avail.   I really need to hear back with real and effective ways of coping, to help prevent flashpoints.

I had found a website that explains the seven most common flashpoints for spouses of ADDers.   It is located at this website:

http://www.additudemag.com/adhd-web/article/1736.html

That website and this one portray very well some of the pervasive complaints from spouses of ADDers.   But it does not provide any help for those married to them.   I don't want to give up as so many others have but unless one learns how to effectively deal with this, what choice do we have?   My own doctor asked me if I have a martyr complec for staying.  I responded that I love my wife.   But how far will love go without proper coping system in place ?

I look forward to real and proven ways of coping.   Thank you to all who take the time to respond, it is appreciated.