Expecting the unexpected while setting boundaries

This goes out to those in marriages/relationships either with both partners or one with ADD/ADHD.

I don't know about other individuals, but for myself it seems that when a boundary is set and choice is made to be non-negotiable...the unexpected becomes the expectation of compromising.

What works for some does not work for all. Appeasing the other person with or without ADD/ADHD means that at times we have to compromise ourselves in order to satisfy the other person.

My question with this is that first, the person with the condition is already in a compromised position by default...therefore why must they "negotiate" while setting boundaries for themselves? 

Having this condition is hard enough, and the expectations that often stir up the unexpected issues of negotiation are if anything not helpful, but instead hurtful to the sufferer.

Just a thought, who knows, today my cognitive, executive, thinking processes could be way off and this may not make any logical sense, but then again the thoughts of an ADDer usually make sense to them and not many else anyway.