Family of ADHD: I'm losing it

We all have ADHD, mine most severe. I have learned to cope with my symptoms with strategies I've read about and ones I have developed on my own (out of necessity). I do not want to live in chaos any longer. I do not want to wake up every morning to chaos and yelling. I am tired of doing all the housework and cleaning up after 8, yes 8 dogs that my wife impulsively decided to "foster". I'm going nuts trying to get my family to buy into a schedule for cleaning (our house is w wreck, so much that the kids do not want to bring anyone over. My wife complains about the issues but does nothing about it. She has excuses for everything. Anyone else a) know of resources for entire families with ADHD. (b) have any personal experiences. I want to save my marriage because I do enjoy and love my wife. But Im so's like I'm the non ADHD person but I'm really not. Help.