So here is my concern. Me and my bf have been together for five years. We do not spend our vacations together. My boyfriend seems to think that it is because I have intimacy issues and I just do not know how couple should exist together. He also says he never had these problems with his ex. I....well, to be honest, I am afraid to go anywhere with my bf at this point. I feel I can still somehow draw my borders at home, but during the vacation, especially if it is visiting his home country, I feel helpless. I feel like I am under his control and cannot even walk away when he starts his anger tantrums.
One example, me and my bf where visiting some of his friends and he tells me how I am being unsocial and how I am not doing enough to socialize with his friends. I felt defeated. He was just going on about how I need to take responsibility for my actions and how I should not expect that people will come to me themselves and how I should leave a better impression to his friends.
So after years of being together with him, I feel scared to go anywhere. The problem is, I know I have some of my issues from the past. I know that I in fact felt a bit trapped with my ex as well. So now I am not sure if my fear is actually justified or this is something I need to deal with.