My bf told me that he feels "broken" in that he doesn't think he experiences emotions the way other people do. He said he reads about how some people experience feelings and that he doesn't have a similar experience. I asked him for an example, and he said he doesn't really cry or experience sadness. We have talked about him possibly having ADD before, but he hasn't looked into it, probably because it will make him feel bad about himself.
This came out during an argument about how we have trust issues with each other. His response is fight and/or flight, and we don't have much emotional intimacy. I started to open up to him about recent thoughts I was having about porn and commoditization of sex/women, and his first response was to tell me what he disagreed with about what I said. He starts a lot of conversations that way, which makes me feel invalidated. I felt defensive and accidentally said something in a mocking tone, and he flipped. After he threatened to walk out, he said I shouldn't feel like he is undermining our relationship when he tries to leave because his intention is to only walk away from one fight. I tried to tell him that his intentions don't change how his actions make me feel. I compared it to him flipping out when he was upset about how I said something, and when I was trying to explain that it was an accident, he thought I was invalidating his feelings. He said they are not the same situations because "in the moment" I would have told him that "I meant it" (which I didn't), whereas in the moment he told me why he was trying to leave. That makes no sense to me. Then he told me he loves me and is bad at showing it.
Part of his trust issues come from growing up in a family where no one trusts each other. They always stab each other in the back with personal information. Combine that with the fact that he was always made fun of growing up and therefore loses his temper in self-defense instantly, and the odds are against me.
I am worried about him, and about myself. We love each other a lot, and it is hurting us that we can't get past this. I really need advice; I am tired of getting beat up for trying to have conversations with him. I can't promise to be a perfect person, which seems to be the condition for him trusting me. I feel like I have tried everything, and I am running out of ideas. I know I can't fix his trust issues single-handedly or what he feels like are his broken emotional responses. I love him and he is so hard on me and unforgiving.