he is very defensive all the time "every time".

My husband is a very defensive man all the time "every time"no matter the conversation...I am not at all in any position to allow the anger tantrums get to me at all these days with the ability to keep my emotions in tact,and, I did...I somehow managed to not let his ADHD effect, overcome me by simply talking out my issues to him and not flaring up the way he did "TONIGHT"he was "Speedy Gonzales",I never even got a chance to voice my opinion, his tantrums and anger is beyond imaginations,and thoughts.I have sooo much love for him,,, and failure on his part to acknowledge this is way pass his time!!!! I don't really know but my suspicions may be very right,I think that my husband jealousies my success in life,,when he met me I had/have everything and he did "NOT" my car is the biggest of all in the jealous part for" him".He cannot or would not make an effort to work hard and accomplish these goals and expect them to land in his lap like "magic"I worked like hours at nights and days at one time with only one worker helping me prepare for an event I had,I prepared 400 boxes of lunches for people of whom bought there tickets in advance,and all this was to help me accomplish my huge success I have today, and I never even met my ADHD husband as yet,, it was some one year after I met him.I proceed to be successful in my hard work,and managed a mother,uncle of whom was very sick at the time, and two kids on my own, with the one help of my dear worker.Thank god for her!! Today I have come to realization,, and with a book I keep dates and time we argue and track of them and what we argued for,I could only see that our argument are "all"based on his defensiveness, and me only trying to get through to him with my own feelings and betrayal having felt by him and unfulfilled promises on his part.He is "always" reproaches me with everything and that drives me crazy.I am using him is his big "GET OFF" of self unworthiness,he is turning me into his maid, yet I am using him, he is making me buy him things and still,, and all this time I gave him free stay, free food, free everything, but I am using him.Oh! and he told me tonight he hates me!!!I find that to be a strong word,don't you agree??Well I don't hate him!and I would never hate him even though he treated me like I am a total wreck like him.

I am very much in line, but I sometimes get emotional over the things that I worked hard for and I claim that this is normal, non ADHD people am I right?please answer,,, and buying the car I bought was a bad deal,I never had it a month yet and already it had bad transmission problems, somehow when I met my husband, and when we got married well! he claimed the car to be his ,which I never mind but he always seem to make these things a big deal.He was very very jealous.I don't know if "jealousy" is an  ADHD related problem?,and if any one can tell me please do...anyhow and his jealously span way out of control and all he could talk about was he needed a truck or car and how bad he wanted it!he was not working at the time so I felt sorry for him and lent him my car which has turned on me today! he is holding my car hostage against me!my car is currently apart by his work site,,, transmission down,engine apart ready to fix,but the pain I am enduring through this is some what far from death by far. he tends to fight more than usual with me, and the fights are getting out of hand,he burst out in flames and high high volume way over my ear bell until I can't even hear myself,he threatens me to take back the car,when I offered him labor money for fixing my car he won't take it,but,yet proceed to say that I am using him.I am "NOT"using him and if I was he would not be the one to use...I am very disrupt now,the proceedings to keep my emotions in tact has failed "again"whenever I am ready to mourn the last fight or grieve it and move on a next one appears abrupt,there is little to no hope in my marriage,and the failure is in the hands of the failure him self.