Help!!

I have been married 12 years to what I have always thought to be the most amazing man ever. Sometime in the last few years...things have changed. He has always been anti social and forgetful (in an unusually extreme way). I always blamed this to his pot use. However, being off pot for more than a year now, hasnt helped. Lately Ive been researching things and keep stumbling across ADHD and they all describe him to a T. His comeback to anything is that I like to take away anything he enjoys. Or that I force him to do things he doesn't like. I am surprised at how selfish he can be in many ways. He doesn't even attend the childrens events without a fight, "because he just don't want to." Then there are days when he can still be my prince charming! We all walk around on egg shells never knowing what kind of day its going to be. He still refuses to seek help, proclaiming there isn't anything wrong with him. How can I continue to try to keep  this marriage alive. So many things from self medicating with substance abuse, porn, over activity, ect. are driving us apart. Its as if I cant stand his presence anymore. I look at him with disgust and this hurts everyone....Please any advise will be helpful....Lost in love in tx