Help before the book arrives

I need advice on what to do before the book arrives. I stumbled across this site out of pure frustration and feelings of total resentment toward my ADHD husband. I am up, alone, caring for our four month old who is sick. This is our third child. All day long the baby cried or nursed. My husband worked from home today. Not once did he ask to help. He actually asked me "What's for lunch"? And at dinner time, when I asked if he could make dinner he listed the different things he had to do for work first. He's been working 60+ hour weeks. Today he held the baby long enough so I could shower but only after I started crying. I needed more help and wanted to ask him to help me get something to eat but i knew it would make him angry so I didn't ask. He is supposed to help the older two get to bed when I put the baby to sleep. At 11:48 they were all still up. The biggest and most concerning issue I have is he can't remember to lock the front door or close the garage. Tonight I texted him at 8 to lock the door after he came home from taking our kids to the store. At 11:30 it was still unlocked. And the saddest part of all is the only time he spend talking with me he complains about his job. I am so lonely. He doesn't listen to anything I say. And it hurts. I've stopped telling him things because it hurts that he doesn't remember. He pretend like he is posting attention but as soon as the conversation goes my way he stops listening. I really hope this book helps. Right now just getting my thoughts out is helpful. Thank you