I am a 48 year old man, and I have been dealing with a number of issues. Most of my issues relate to social anxiety disorder - and a fear of flying and traveling.
However, I have developed what i believe to be a sexual addiction as well. That is what is threatening my marriage - and I want to end it so badly! But, I seem to be unable to push past certain feelings. It feels like something simply comes over me - and I'm a different person - not caring about what it will do to my marriage or my wife or child. I don't want to continue to do this, but I don't know how to stop the urges. I do use pornography on the internet and on TV. I thought I had things under control - as I have used pornography only for a while. In the past I would go out to strip clubs and spend money and get dances. I thought I had it under control - but last night - I had the urge - and I did it again. I also drank excessively and drove my car. My wife found out, and I know she's very hurt. My daughter doesn't really know what I did, but she knows my wife is very unhappy with me.
I told my wife that I would move out, if that would help. She is worried about what that will do to our daughter, and so am I. I want so badly to stop this cycle of acting out - and hurting my wife, but I don't know if I have the tools to do it on my own. I know it's my fault, and I have to work hard to be a good person, but I really need help.