I am 29, this wonderful boyfriend (30 years old) for almost a year. When we first started dating, he told me he has ADD. He told me because of his ADD I will be angry at him because he is forgetful and other things. So he borrowed me a Edward M. Hallowell book so understand him more, I read breifly and convinced myself - there is nothing like him, he is adorable, caring and intelligent. He is everything I want, we shared the same interests, had great fun exploring new things together. He called, texted, IM me everyday. I feel like being with him every minute of my life. And I am extremely happy to be with him and forget about ADD
As The ADHD Effect book "predicted", the relationship went downward after a few months, we argued nights and days. We consistently burst into anger, frustration for small issues. I took out Edward M. Hallowell book to read again. I burst into tears and I finished reading it overnight. It's not us, it's ADD affecting our relationship. I tried to educate myself to be more understanding and considerate, but you know, it's not easy. I understand the reason behind but my emtion could not be changed immediately. However, we had a great time in travelling - we enjoy every moments together (at least for me), I was able to feel relaxed and gave him a lot of tolerance and reminding him on little things which he appreciates. Since the trip, we seems argue less and less.
Until last week, we had a fight at night before going to bed. I have my PMS so gone a bit crazy, he is still super caring and hold my hand in the morning. Then we started another big fight on tiny things (which I shouldn't have - it's my fault), he is still being so caring and hold my hand and we walked to office together. I was still grumpy and nagged him about his ADD. All of a sudden, he burst into anger as he thinks I made fun of his ADD and walked away. I chased after him but I couldn't help but crying. I said sorry to him before I dropped him off in his office. He said he will speak to me after work. But he didn't. He refused to pick up my call for 5 days. He still refused to pick up my call until now. I am so helpless. I sent him card to apologise, small presents outside his door. He texted me, he forgive me but he needs times "to clear his head". On top of that, he started regular medicial treatment, he used to take it but stopped it for a while, I wasn't sure would the tablet affects him. And also he is under stress from a big project deadline coming soon.
5 days - it's huge to me considering we talk to each other everyday for the past. He called me even he was on business trip. I feel sad and being punished. Then I started researching ADD book in library where I found this wonderful ADHD Effect book. I found a lot of familiar stories so now I have a lot of useful tips, I am sure I can do better. But my problem is HE IS NOT WILLING TO TALK TO ME. I feel like abandoned. In one of his text, he said he is "not strong enough" to talk to me yet. I am aware that ADDer needs "alone time". I totally respect he needs time alone but why couldn't he even talk to me on phone or reply my email? And "alone time" how long is it? a week? a month? Should I go to his place and knock on his door? Or just do nothing but wait? I really miss him like hell. I went to movie myself on weekend, all I think of is him... I miss him so much... I comletely lose my appetite for these days.
Please, if you have similar situation, please help me.... I am desperate.