How Do You Know What's Real?


My boyfriend and I started dating 3 months ago tomorrow and we've already experiences some pretty bad lows. We broke up briefly because I was entirely ignorant and did not understand what it meant for him to have ADD/ADHD. Obviously, i will never fully understand but I was under the misguided impression but it only affected them in terms of getting work done.We are trying to be long distance now and had gone a month without seeing each other. I live in Chicago and he lives in Indiana (neither of us drive.) We broke up because the more stressed he became about his situation, the less he called or texted and the more he broke his plans to actually visit. We maintained a friendship over the next couple of weeks which honestly still felt like a relationship. At some point, i became confused because he never stopped trying to talk to me and even wanted to get back together when I finally did see him. His words completely did not mirror his actions so I started reading up on ADD and thought maybe that's what the problem is. We dropped the love bomb and I promised to take his situation into account more since I had done some reading on the subject prior to seeing him again. He said he will pay more attention to me and make sure to call every night before bed and try to commit to seeing each other at least once a week. I know right now is a stressful time for him so I am trying to understand but I honestly can't. I've been through this kind of thing with men before and it usually meant they did not really care about me at all. I am finding this hard to believe with him because I have given him so many opportunities to just be casual and not in a relationship but each time he insists he wants us to make a serious attempt at this. What can I focus on to not get so upset when he does not call or text? He was supposed to call last night but he was hanging out with his best friend and it seems like he forgot. Second day in a row. The night before he said he was locked into a conversation with his brother so could not get away to call. I've been on the receiving end of one of is adorable long rants when he gets on a subject but it still makes me wonder is this because of ADHD or is this a guy who does not like me much. I guess my main question here is how can you tell if they are forgetting to call, text or make plans because of their ADHD or if they are just truly not really invested? I'm also worried that he told me he loved me during one of his hyper states and does not really mean it? It was completely random we were just walking down the street and he blurted it out.

Please help because I do love him and want to make sure I do this right if he truly wants to be with me.