Husband ignores me over his friends--any advice appreciated

I just found this forum, and can't say enough how glad I am that you are here. I always feel so choked up about this stuff and don't know who to talk to about it. Anyway, my husband is taking Adderall for ADHD, and we have a few other typical problems, but the one that constantly bothers me is that I feel like my husband ignores me and our children to go out with his friends or have his friends over. I feel like a third wheel in my own marriage, and I don't know what to do! My husband and I work different shifts (I work mornings, he works afternoons), so we don't usually see each other for more than an hour on most weekdays anyway. But if I do have a day off or some vacation time, he will choose to spend whatever time we have at his friends' house, and it really hurts. I know he means well, but he will forget that I don't have work and will say that "we've got plenty of time", but he's already made plans to go see his friend, so he can't change plans. This happens all the time. I need help, because this makes me and the kids cry to see him for only a bit at a time, and he says I'm crazy and that I'm trying to make him feel bad, but I just wish I could be a small part of his life. I've tried talking to him and asking him not to go, and he might stay for 10 extra mins (with his coat on and watching the clock), but he will always go, and stay for hours. It annoys me as well because he's always there, and they just watch tv or even (which is really crushing) watch his friends kids! Why can't he watch tv and watch our own kids?! They worship him if he'd just give them the chance. Am I being nagging? Or annoying? I want him to go have fun but I feel like he's always out, and I never see him, mostly due to our work schedules, but I just want a little time, maybe one night out of 5? He's said before that I'm bothering him; always nagging about going out, so maybe I can work on that? I've honestly tried to be cool about it, but he doesn't change and I get frustrated, eventually. I've come to resent his friends, which I feel awful over, but I'm so hurt and bitter. We've tried to do "couples outings" with my husband's friend AND his wife, but my husband will sit with his friend, go out for a smoke, etc, with his friend and forget about me, quite literally. I'm not saying I need to be worshipped or demand attention, but as it is now, I feel like a dog or something; I'm something to be tolerated and that's it. I'm guessing this May be ADHD related, because he honestly doesn't see my frustrations; he just thinks I'm a lunatic. Sorry for the long rant, but can you chime in on this? I really need some sort of perspective. Thanks!