Husband newly diagnosed

Hi.  My husband and I started seeing a marriage counselor a couple of weeks ago do to a lack of trust with him that stems from a opiate addiction.  He has been clean for almost 2 years now but our problems were continuing to go up.  During our first session the counselor said my husband had add.  I started reading and researching alot on adult add and have learned alot and we both are starting to learn new ways of being together.  We have been married almost 13 years.  Our son is 12 and was dx with adhd at 6.  My daughter is 10 and was dx with autism at age 3.  I am feeling very guilty because I have never given as much weight to my sons adhd as I have the autism.  Since she was dx it has been nothing but therapy for her. Speech, ocupational, physical, and in the last year she was dx with anxiety disorder so regular psychiatry visits as well.I always just thought with adhd/add you give them medicine and that was it.  Boy was I wrong and now I am seeing that I could have done so much more for my son also.  He is such a sweet kind hearted kid but has gotten very angry the last couple years.  I am feeling all kinds of different emotions. Anger, guilt, hopelessness.  I love my kids and husband dearly but feel like I am drowning in special needs.  Everybody needs something different from me and it is exhausting.  My husband and son are constantly butting heads and I feel stuck in the middle of them.  His add is still very new (at least the knowing what it is) to us and he is just now working on himself.  He has a very bad short fuse and all he does is yell at our son.  I am trying to tell him about the things I am learning but he gets defensive.  I dont know what else to do.  Is it bad that I want to pack my bags and run away?  I would never do that but feel like it alot.  Thanks for reading.