I know this is a function of distraction and disorganization but it is awful. And I am guilty I knew he lived like this when I met him but I started parenting right away. I did consider it a red flag then thought maybe I am just being picky and started just taking care of him.
I moved from the upstairs in May due to a unexpected pregnancy even with prevention, at age 40, and already have a 2 & 5 year old. It was too much and I needed space and to decrease my workload. I told him he cleans everything up there and does his own laundry now. I still buy whatever toiletries he needs that he informs me of.
Since May I think he has vacuumed twice. And maybe done his laundry half way ( I say half b/c his mode is to overload the washer and just leave it in the laundry room and washer till I get sick of it then do it for him to get it out of my way). He leaves hunting knives, guns, fishing hooks and crap everywhere upstairs. Q-tips, change, and garbage fill the room. Clothes all over the place, some dirty some clean. Bed sheets with dog hair, and dirt from dog. Instead of doing laundry he buys more clothes. I suspected this way of living when dating but it was hard to tell as the place was so small. Then we moved in together and I was like HOLY CRAP he is a slob! I would fight him on it, but finally just decided I would do everything instead of fighting. (wrong choice)
Hygiene. When I met him he did not brush teeth much which I thought was weird and gross. I asked him about it and he said it was not good to brush every day. (yuck). So I told him it grossed me out and he started brushing more the smell went away and all was good. We moved in together a year later and he went back to the no brushing, but upon mentioning he started again. Plus I always had lot's of mouthwash and toothpaste ready for him to use in plain site. Then after our second daughter was born (year 2 of our marriage, 4 of being together) he just stopped caring if he brushed or not. Our marriage was rocky with that pregnancy and has been ever since. We have free dental cleanings and he won't go to dentist. I used to schedule and make him go, but decided that was a "parenting" behavior I needed to stop doing.
So now he stinks because his clothing is dirty, his breath smells horrid and the upstairs of my house is disturbing. My kids don't like using the bathroom up there b/c it is gross. How can all this come from ADHD. I am thinking poor parenting and adoption of bad behaviors in life is also to blame?
Oh and my favorite is when I tell him, you really need to brush your teeth or put on a clean shirt (like this morning) he denies he smells and tells me (in front of kids) to shut up or shut my mouth, get off his ass, and just go to work. Love it!
ugggg! I keep praying literally that he finds another woman to take care of him so I can leave this marriage in peace without a fight!