I love him,I love him too much, but he won't stop accusing me.He won't stop nagging on me ,checking up on me, how is it he can't see how much I'm trying with him,I joined this ADHD marriage site to help me cope through our marriage and to try and save it..I thought I was alone out there with a terrible husband with such selfish needs and self centered ways,and when I joined the forums I somehow manage to stay with him,the ADHD marriage forums helped me a lot and I read about it on line as well,but things are getting tough and I can't deal with his angry tantrums that he throws at me and accusations.I am in a suffering relationship with him,I am suffering for his gentleness,kindness,love and understanding..I am forced to move on soon somehow to save my sanity and mentality,stability..He is going to lose me and he would not realize it until it's too late.
He thinks I am on some dating site, when I am on marriage forums and trying to save our marriage.I recently got Internet, and my laptop monitor fell and got damaged and when I told him It fell and got damaged over the phone he sounded very happy, I know that he is a jealous man and he don't want me on the computer at all because he is thinking that I am cheating on line.STUPID! I am not cheating and today I went and bought a monitor from a company and I told him and he went in to tantrums,shouting on the phone telling me why I am so obsessed with the laptop and getting really upset..He burst in my bedroom and asked me to see the marriage site I am on and when I did he asked me to see the history on my computer, and I panicked and did not show him because I wrote a forum today on (HE WON'T HELP ME FINANCIALLY) and I did not want him to see that,that would have made him very very mad.
He left and I knew where he was BY THE BAR,the same bar that he picked up a woman from that(My ADHD husband( ruined my birthday)that was a next forum I wrote under anger frustrations,I don't know what to do any more should I leave him and grieve for a while ,or stay with him and grieve right through.He promised me that he would not go to that bar no more and he broke his promise to me,maybe I should really join a dating site and find a match I should thank him for educating me..When I went a while ago and saw him by the bar about an hour ago I asked him why is he at the bar he said that what do you mean and argued the point I did not show him the history on my computer, and I told him that I deserve a little privacy and that he should trust me then it don't worth us being together,he was so mad and could never get it over and went as far as bad talking my son and pointing out things that is disturbing him and forgot what the real argument was about,but I was expecting that since he always do that since I know him..
I never mentioned this in none of my forums before but I was with someone else when I met my ADHD husband the one of whom I am with now,and I left my boyfriend of 6,six years to be with this man that tricked me In to thinking that he was Mr.Right and that he would love my kids,me and dedicate himself to become one with me,I was wrong he is nothing of the sort and I have lots of regrets today. I left my boyfriend to marry a hypocrite,self centered,man..I say this with utmost pain and hurt I miss by boyfriend of six years that man treated me with so much love and respect ,he never once cursed me or tell me one bad thing ever,the reason I left him was because he was not ready for marriage and My ADHD husband was.I wish I never wanted that now.I am so unhappy In this marriage I just wish that I could get back my normal life...........from:lovehurtsalotwithanger......thanks for reading my forum........