I give up (caution--BIG vent here!!)

First let me issue a disclaimer that I in no way think I have it any worse than any of us who post here--I do not think that.  We all have many many issues stemming from our ADHD marriage and we come here to blow off steam to a sympathetic audience.  This is a big big vent coming next...continue at your own risk...

I am about ready to throw in the towel mentally.  I just have nothing left.  Everything about my ADHD DH is illogical.  My 17 year old son is ADHD too and between the two of them I feel like I am living on  another planet.  The mess, the undone, half done projects, the outlandish plans that are clearly never going to get done.  DH works from home when he is not traveling and his desk in our master bedroom is a nightmare.  The closet in our master bedroom is a nightmare.  The garage is a nightmare.  If I ask him to pick up stuff he tells me it's our home and it doesn't have to look like a magazine every minute.  He does the grocery shopping which should be helpful, but he buys WAY too much and I end up cleaning out the fridge and tossing stuff at the end of the week.  And the 17 YO is all about his dad and is snarky and snippy to me and dad says nothing.  The child's latest thing is "well, when I am 18 I don't have to...".  Which is true, but then he can also contribute to the rent, the phone bill, the grocery bill, the heat, the cable, all the things he enjoys at our house.  He is griping because we don't have a college fund for him.  You know why that is?  Because you father has been unemployed three times, moved out for 6 months and we paid for 2 households, DS was in rehab to the tune of $10,000, braces for both kids cost $10,000,  Geez kid--wake up.  His grades aren't good enough for any scholarships, and he gave up his sport this year.  So he really has not done his part either.  DH says nothing when DS speaks to me this way.  He has never been supportive of anything I do with DS, so why I am so surprised now I don't know.  I am about as disengaged as I can be now--how can I possibly get any more mentally removed from DH?  We don't talk about anything of substance--everything is one-liners and jokes and sarcasm.  We see a marriage counselor but I think I am going to stop that--there really is no point.  We don't do any of the things he asks of us so why are we bothering.

Sorry for the woe is me today.  DHs snoring woke me at 4:30am and my brain was spinning.