I understand but I don't

Hello I am a non ADHD partner. I came to this forum for some encouragement and some insight. I so rarely see any post of positivity and it's very discouraging. Yes I understand that being the non ADHD partner can be frustrating and there is little to be understood when you aren't living in at they live everyday. I have had my moments where I want to cry, but it's because I want to understand and I can't. I am not in his head everyday to even fathom what struggles he faces every single day. i can only imagine how frustrated they become when I can't understand what is going on.  But I try . EVERY.DAMN.DAY. Not every partner  adhd blames their everyday interactions on that, they learn how to deal with it. Imagine for a moment how they feel every time we snap at them, pull away from them. Imagine what they went through if they were diagonsed at an early age. The judging they endur d from peers and teachers and sometimes even their own parents. To be told they're different and how people call them crazy if God forbid they missed their medication. They have been made the pariah for so long. Then to find a wonderful person who. They love and trust so much to share their adhd with do that we can understand. Then imagine that same person Turning their back on them and treating them like they are some type of freak because of something they literally struggle to control everyday.


maybe instead of bashing them and making them feel like worthless, step back and evaluate yourself. What have we even done to try and understand? I read books, talk to people and try my damn hardest every day so that one day I can at least feel like at they are going through. We promised to love them so why be so quick to turn our backs on them?