I will not feel guilty, I will not feel guilt. . . . curses I feel guilty

Yesterday was my niece's wedding.  My spouse indeed remembered to get a haircut, and even took me up on an offer to iron his dress shirt.  

Most things went well - up until that fateful dance at the reception - you know the one where all married couples are requested out to the dance floor to share a dance with the bride and groom?  And then they start the count down, "Anyone married less than a year, please move to the edge of the dance floor.  Anyone married less that 5 years. . . . .8 years..... 15 years..... 20 years...... etc. till the longest married couple is dancing with the bride and groom.

As soon as they started that announcement, I went into the bathroom . . . . and stayed there till it was over.  When I got back to my table, my cousin said, "Hey where were you?  I wanted to see you dance?"  That was one dance in which I did not want to participate.  Fake and phony for me.  

About an hour later, several people asked, " Where is "XXX"?  I sorta just assumed my spouse was talking with someone somewhere - like he usually did at these sort of family functions.  

After the last dance, I waited as the crowd thinned, and discovered he was no where to be seen.  I got my coat, said my goodbyes, and then went out to the parking lot.  Our vehicle was gone.  I wandered around a bit, and then heard a horn toot.  It was my spouse driving up behind me.

I got in and asked where he had gone.  He said he had a stomach ache and went to wait in the truck.  Who knows how long he was out there.

And I am feeling guilty.  This is my problem.  He gets into this wounded puppy routine, and even my own self falls prey to it.  

A wounded puppy does not make an ideal marriage partner.  

Trapped in guilt is not a good place to find myself.  

I can honestly say, there is no one more surprised at that revelation than I am. A 55 year old woman who ducked into the restroom to avoid a situation.