It's over.

Here we go again.

Earlier this year I caught my suspected-ADHD spouse with crystal meth.  At the time he was exhibiting the behaviors of a daily meth user.  It was HELL to live with him during this time.  Like any addict he denied he was on drugs.  I threw him out of the house. 

He showed promise he'd turned things around, started acting responsible (cleaning up his messes, taking care of his rented house, cooking) so he moved back in after a few months.

Fast forward a couple more months.  Yesterday I was cleaning out his messy car (classic ADHD - so gross I wanted to vomit) and found multiple cut straws used for snorting drugs.  Hoped maybe it was from the time period earlier in the year.  Except I found another straw in the house... in his pack of smokes.  He is back to having strange sleeping habits too.  Also, found condoms in his car.  For who?  For what?  I don't want to know. 

Fool me once, shame on you.  Fool me twice, shame on me.  It is devastating.  Like I've read: the death of a dream.  He left me with no choice.  I am filing for separation.  I cannot be the enabler anymore.   He refuses to admit he's using drugs, thus refuses treatment.  There is no third chance for us.

Also, he has a collection agency after him for $15K+ for ignored school loan bills.  And he's about to get fired for tardiness & sloppiness.  And his therapist thinks he doesn't have ADHD.  Well....maybe he is just a drug addict?

You know what's sad?  I feel so sorry for him, I forget to feel sorry for myself.