Just anger and hate from ADHD partner

Hi, new here.  My.. well don't know if I can call him partner anymore.. has suspected ADHD, waiting on tests.  Our relationship has gone downhill, a combination of my mental health declining and me leaning too much on him, and feeling neglected as he has turned to hyperfixating on this new friendship with another woman, but insists there's nothing in it but it's become his sole focus.  This led to many arguments, including frustrations from me when he messages her when we were on dates.  Paired with me having anxiety and latching to him too much, it came to a head when he was out drinking with female friends, I asked him to come home as I was really struggling, and he wouldn't.  He broke up with me that night, I asked him to wait until end of month, part of me really didn't want it to end on argument, well anyway he agreed, and that's been and gone.  The first few days after, he tried being affectionate, we both were, I told him I'd wait for him,I love him enough to let him go and wait, when he ended it he said he would want to try again when we are both in better place.  Then, after couple days, I don't know what changed but he started stonewalling me, and has since.  He's moody, sullen around me all the time.  Angry.  I'm emotional and end up near in tears, or actually be crying, and met with eye rolls or him telling me to cheer up.  He's happy around others, continues to go out and cheers up, continues this friendship but when alone with me, nothing.  But he suggests still going places, or going on holiday - where we are right now. But then is sullen.  Even if I ask for a hug.  I'm so confused now, and I can't keep taking his anger and hate, I love him so much, including his ADHD, it's part of what makes him so great.  And it hurts so much that this woman he messages makes him happy, whilst I only make him angry.  But then sometimes he'll still hug me to fall asleep.  And why would he ask me to do things if he really didn't want to? He doesn't do things he doesn't want.  I know I need to give him time, but how do I not take it all so personally?

Sorry so long, thanks to those that stuck with it!