Leisure time!

Why is it so tough to figure out what to do with leisure time or, more-to-the-point, "non-work" time?  Certainly I am challenged at work (Organization, decision-making, and short-term memory are daily struggles) but the real issue for me (and my wife of 36 years) is what happens (or more accurately, what does not happen) during my week-ends and other days off, never mind vacations.   

I have worked steadily for over 35 years as a licensed clinical social worker in the not-for-profit mental health field.  Ironically, my title is Performance Improvement Administrator!  Somehow I need to improve my own performance at home.  On most weekends or days off I will, if left to my own devices, sit around and listen to classical music / jazz; watch TV, search on e-bay for another something that I don't need to add to my collections (cameras, CDs, DVDs, watches, binoculars), and if I don't know what else to do . . . EAT!  I will actually have an internal monologue as I head for the kitchen, "well I don't what else to do so . . . ." 

I recognize that part of me is uptight about going out into a new and unfamiliar situation or environment.  I like routine and knowing what a place &/or experience will be before I get there.  Unlike some others here, I am not a thrill seeker.

I truly often cannot decide what to do during leisure time.  I have trouble figuring out what I want to do. What I should do is easier, and even that I will avoid.  If my wife suggests or plans something involving me, I will frequently get annoyed that she did.  But that is a temptation for her, otherwise I will not likely initiate a plan (never mind think of one).

I do take medication for depression and anxiety.  I tried Adderall for a few days but that raised my bp so I stopped at my doctor's recommendation.  

Rather than go on and on . . .  Please give me some thoughts about my leisure time dilemma!  


Springerswimmer in NJ