Life long ADHD

I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was very young.  I went to private catholic school my grade school years and took ritalin every morning and at noon.  As well as counseling.  This continued into my teen years through middle school and high school.  I am also a only child.  Here is what annoys/angers me.  I feel as though I am very different from the rest of the world.  The thoughts always racing through my head, sometimes very irrational according to my wife of 10 years.  She says I make myself believe stuff and make up things to fill in the gaps, when I don't have all the information.  I have not been on medicine for years and years.  I have held a few jobs, but the job I have now I have held for 10 years.  I have been up front about my ADHD with my work.  The hyper focusing in most cases is great for what I do, but 10 years of marriage and 4 kids later, I am getting burnt out.  My wife and I have had our ups and downs, but a couple of years ago, things turned for the worse and I haven't been the same since.  I have lost all passion for what I do and have been somewhat disconnected with everything around me.  I am a lot better now, but still the racing thoughts continue.  Thus the hyper focusing about my condition led me to this website.  I think the main difference from me and others that have ADHD is that I am aware of my actions, and know I shouldn't, but I do any ways.  I definitely can say hurtful things without considering the consequence.  For the sake of my wife, she has had to put up with a lot over the years, it sucks.  I can and have put a great deal of stress on her shoulders and our marriage and at times in our marriage I know she has thought that I don't love her, but I do.  She is my everything, my rock, my foundation.  Without her in my life, I don't think I could have made it this far and be somewhat successful.  I do have to thank my parents though, because without them, none of this would have ever been possible.  The difference was how I was raised with my ADHD and how my parents went out of their way to find something in life that I was passionate about, and I have been doing that same thing for almost 20 years now.  I am very fortunate to work for a company that understands my condition and has dealt with me over the years, because trust me, I have burnt some bridges I am not proud of and have said things that I regret and that takes time for people to come around.  Any ways, enough about work.  I came here to tell my story of living with ADHD.  To my astonishment I have gotten better over the past couple years since the incident.  I blame myself for what happened as I probably pushed my wife away.  But since that time, we both have grown much more closer than ever.  I have had to try to do a balancing act between work and family which is so hard for me.  Because when I focus on one, the other starts to fail, if you can understand where I am coming from.  These 10 years have been tough but we made it this far, why stop now!  I love my family and would not change any of that for the world.  I only wish I could be normal like everyone else.