Looking more like BPD for 12 year old

I have suspected that our 12 year old has Borderline Personality disorder for sometime.  A few months ago, a ER nurse read BPD on their chart, but I had never heard of a diagnosis before.  Some BPD traits include swift changes of emotion with intense unprovoked rage, splitting, false accusations, unstable identity, signs of unstable relationships, impulsive behavior, self injury, suicidal ideation, and lying/manipulating.  I brought up this possibility with my wife during our horrible vacation (before we started fighting) based on their behavior at the amusement park.

Saturday, the twelve year old tells me that they think the prior bipolar diagnosis was wrong because they think that their symptoms fit BPD better. And they also told me about fear of abandonment.

Despite getting ready for their bat mitzvah, they are expressing a lot of interest in Islam.  They even wear hijab.  They blew up when my wife told them that the Rabbi would probably not approve of wearing Muslim dress during their own bat mitzvah.  I am also really concerned that their erratic behavior could offend real Muslims.  Just a couple of months ago, they were taking candles, carving runes into them. and lighting them for pagan gods.  They are writing a dystopian novel that involves lots gods from other religions.  They also appear to be getting most of their information on Islam from the internet--definitely a red flag.  Of course, they "know" whom to trust on the internet!  Sometimes they say they are just looking into converting in a few years, but at other times they act as if they think they have already converted.

We have been in and out of ERs so much in the last 14 months that the doctors and nurses no longer take them seriously.  Psychiatric hospitals have also refused to admit them,.