My husband tonight was very angry for no reason I could remember,I am dependent on him more than ever before, to help me with getting to the grocery with his car, to get my stuff for the business because my car is presently fixing"by him" and he seem to be failing me with that "ALSO",I love him a lot,,,,,,,, and I could see certain efforts in him to make change but he is not a patient man at all!!!!!!
I am a very dedicated mother of two kids, and my mother also,, and I have no intention's of leaving my family any time soon.Well he is not, or even can't provide for me right now, and I am the owner of my own home,,,so why pay rent????????I am not going to pay rent with him and then have burdens of finance as well as ADHD problems.He was on the other hand living with me at my home for 6 months and then he screwed it up!!!he was complaining,,, non stop about "EVERYTHING"that was not even "his"business.He got free food,free stay,did not work and used my car to his leisure,I bought him things ,loved him,treated him soooo good and then after his high achievements,good paying job he "left" and got his own apartment.I am glad now!!!less head ache on my part.
Tonight I went home to his apartment,,,,, but earlier in the day I bought "Melissa Orlov"book "The ADHD effect on marriage" and before he picked me up to go by him, I started to read the book,what an interesting book,"already" it helped me and I did not get far with it as yet.I did not tell him I got the book because I knew he would be angry.So I kept it from him,but,I was cooking him dinner and we were talking and I realized that he is not focusing on me no more only"work"work"work"and the"boys"boys"boys"in his work.So we began to talk about ADHD and I was trying to explain to him that he has to go and get the help that is needed by a professional who is good in dealing with ADHD and it will not only help him but our relationship also,I even went as far as to tell him that "if"he did not have ADHD I would not have loved him the way I did,that it was the hyper focus on me that lead me to love him the way I did and still do now.
He at first took me really exotic romantic places,cooked for me and all this took place in the most romantic place in the Caribbean, where his parents is the owner's of a really beautiful get away.I was madly in love with his high intelligence and the work he does is very hard and he is very good at it.Tonight I realize his focus is "not" on me any more.now he leaves me to fend for my self no matter what.Before he would support me with my work and now it's like what ever to him.So I mentioned this tonight and he got so "ANGRY" and started to chase me out of his apartment like a dog!!!!I was terrified because I can't remember saying anything that was "bad" to him other than how neglected I am feeling,I started seeing that he could not handle the truth and just wanted me out his apartment to get away from the "real"problem that he was creating for "us"may be I should not have said any thing,and realize that he can't do these things because he is not treating his ADHD problem at the moment.
Some how I got him to calm down,by telling him that I know he did not mean the things he did,and that I am sorry,and then I find myself telling sorry more and more again.He said "NOTHING"after that and then on our way dropping me home "again"I apologized and then he had this grunt in his face and did not even want to hear anything, I left and came home.I saw his low tolerance behavior and how he was running from his own self,,,,,, I walked inside with my heart broken and tears streaming down my face.The hurt that I feel inside is unimaginable pain and all I want to do is be more loved than hurt,and that was my message to him tonight and he could not have a simple conversation with me about the focus I so need and the less hate more love.I have a husband who cannot have a decent conversation without him digging up past things that we've been through to just cover his present faults.I am very sad right now and I feel sooo alone!!!!