For Melissa - personality disorder or ADHD?

Dear Melissa, so much of what I read on this forum just looks like straight forward old fashioned marital abuse. The money issues, the anger, the violence, the witholding of affection, attention, sex, the abuse in fact. I have read a lot since I first came across this potential explanation for husband's awful behaviour - and the other explanation I have been given for the increasing difficulty of dealing with him is a narcissistic personality disorder (incurable) - they seem to share a lot of themes the two conditions, and yet one can be helped. Can you please sort out the difference between personality disorders (incurable) and ADHD (helplable with medication and therapy). I am now so deeply confused I don't know where i am. But I do know that being blamed for the breakdown of my marriage by an angry dysfunctional man, who thinks of no one but himself, and says the very first thing that comes into his head however illogical, and does things without thinking that lead to serious disasters, is a pretty awful experience. Can you help with this question? It would really help me. Thanks!