My ADHD husband calls me a bit** all the time. He says I'm bitter and I complain about everything. He's right, I have turned into a miserable woman. But how much can one person take without completely losing it? In our 7 year marriage he has had over 30 jobs, most of which only lasted a few weeks or a few months. He only helps around the house when I force him too. He hasn't done any upkeep on our 30 year old home and it's in need of lots of repairs. He sits around all day and talks about all the things he wants to do and tells me how much money he can make when he finds the right job. I'm so tired of all the talk and no action! I'm about ready to explode! I'm exhausted all the time and always having to worry about making ends meet and how we are going to afford the repairs on the house. I know my friends and family think I'm insane for staying with this man. My siblings all have wonderful hard working spouses and nice lives so it's really hard to be struggling all the time. Before I married my husband I had a nice life. I took a couple of vacations a year and I had a savings and some investments and was prepared for emergencies that might happen. He basically had nothing when we met. He blamed it on his divorce, said his ex wife got everything, but now I know that's not the reason. Someone has always stepped up to take care of him and now I've done the same thing. I've spent all my savings and cashed in all my investments to finance all his business ideas in hopes he would find something he would stick with. He has a business degree but has never used it and at his age (53) it's really hard to start all over in a new career. He recently got a job but had to have a minor surgery so he couldn't start it for a couple of weeks. Now that it's time to go to work he's telling me the pay isn't good enough and he's going to go visit his parents (all the way on the other side of the country) and take care of some family business (which should have been taken care of years ago) and look for work while he is there. Even if he finds a job there I have no idea how he is going to manage because he can't live with his parents so he will have to find a place to stay and that costs money that he doesn't have. I keep trying to explain to him that he has to make A LOT more money if we are going to maintain separate households and that it would be more practical to take a lesser paying job near home. I also remind him that he hates being alone and will not want to stay there by himself for long so why bother with the expense of relocating. But then he tells me I'm trying to control him and all I do is bit** at him for everything he wants to do. It's like dealing with a child and my frustration is going through the roof. He uses no common sense and it's driving me crazy!
I just needed to vent this morning, I really feel like he has turned me into an insane woman. I've had good advice from people on this forum about how to deal with this but I'm still not handling it well. UGH!