I have been dealing with ADHD traits for as long as I can remember. I have used many of the creative "gifts" ADHD provides to make a successful living in advertising. Ideas seem to come naturally. I think in different ways. That seems to have helped forge a career. For this I am thankful.
Unfortunately, what it has also brought to the table is much more destructive in nature. I have all the symptoms common to ADHD, and have had great success keeping them in check. But, anger and impulsive outbursts are something that I can't seem to control. Although not the sole factor in the destruction of my first marriage, I now can admit that it no doubt played a role. I didn't know I had it at the time. And therefore didn't seek treatment. Even if I had, I still think were not a good match.
Well now, I am about to embark on a second try at married life. And up until recently, I thought my previous behavior was under control. Well it's not. And though I have tried behavioral therapy, I don't think it's enough. I want and think I need meds. As of tomorrow, I am trying Concerta.
Is there hope? Can I learn to control my outbursts and impulsive nature? My outbursts are very damaging and I want to control them very badly. My current fiance is showing great support and interest in helping me tame this.
The date is approaching - spring of 2011. I love her so much. I just want to know if and how others were able to make their marriages work. I feel like Jeckyl and Hyde. One second I'm the funniest, most thoughtful, sweet guy she's ever met and the next I'm saying things that I can't believe I've said in ways that I am ashamed of. Can I find control? I have to. Or I will be alone. Any words of encouragement?