New to this forum and ADHD

Hello Everyone,


  I'm happy to have found this site. I'll try to summarize so everyone isn't reading a novel. My husband and I have been married for almost 18 years now. We divorced after 12 years due to his addiction to pain pills. We were having a lot of problems. Arguments all the time, him not pulling his weight around the house, missing work all the time etc. We ended up divorcing and it was a very bad divorce too. On both our parts. After about a year of being divorced, we kind of reconnected and he seemed like a totally different person. He wooed me and his attitude was awesome and he even had patience. I was a sucker and fell back into a marriage with him because I thought everything was fixed. After about 6 months into the marriage, I started to see the same traits coming through again. We had horrible communication issues because he can't remember anything. He was tested for his memory etc. and everything was fine. It's just the constant parent-child relationship. We have a 17 year old that is more mature than my husband. I have wanted to leave again but I feel sorry for him. He makes my life hell though. I have to responsibility of paying the bills, doing housework, calling and making appointments, taking the car to the shop....etc. whatever needs to be done, I am the one to do it. I have both my parents in memory care and my father started on hospice last week. I already have a full plate and just want a husband that can help and support me. Not another child to have to take care of!There is nothing I can say that he doesn't take offense to or take the wrong way. I said the other day before his testing that I didn't know what I was going to do if he didn't have ADD. He took that as me saying I'm divorcing him or he should kill himself. Neither was a thought. He's just very paranoid sometimes. He's very one sided. I have so much stress and sadness that I'm in this marriage. He started seeing a therapist (we've seen them together and separately over the years and to no avail). Something he mentioned in one of his sessions made the therapist ask if he had ever been tested for ADD. Long story short, he had his testing this week and does have ADD. He's almost 50 years old. It's gotten a lot worse just in the past 6 months. The doctor put him on Strattera 25mg and working up to 80mg. I don't know what to expect from this medicine. I hope it works. He says his head just races all the time and he doesn't know why he says and does what he does. I try to understand but I don't have ADD so it's hard for me to understand what he's feeling. I just know what our life is like and it's not good. I hold out hope that every new day will bring a new attitude on my part and his. I pray for patience to deal with him. We can't go anywhere without him shouting at other drivers, while I'm driving or flipping them off. It's very stressing to me. He will say " I don't know why you let that dumb a** out in front of you". or "she's an idiot, don't let her pass you". Stuff like that that irritates me so bad. Seems like I'm on egg shells all the time. It's so hard right now. I hope someone can give me some advice or tips on how to learn to cope with his behaviour and I hope it improves. I'm still seeing my therapist too. Sorry for the long rant. It kind of feels good to have written all this actually.